Last week, I was IMing with our VP of Media Strategy, Libby Pigg, about what it means to be “in a relationship” on the Web. A lot of marketers measure the success of their social networking outreach by using a “cost per fan” model. Libby said, “Too many brands and agencies are hung up on the quantity of fans they have on their social networking profiles. As people, do we assess our value by the amount of friends we have? Hopefully not. I don’t really care if I have 1,000 friends, but if I have a couple of loyal best friends, then I have something good. “

Libby suggested that we develop a new way of gauging the meaning of these relationships. We started by attempting to define them:

Friends: A basic level of engagement on any social network that is usually greeted with a generic “thanks for the add” response. We amass friends but few are BFFs and BFF4Ls. Friends give us their basic info and access to talk to them. But if the relationship stops there, all we’re doing is building a big posse that doesn’t add a lot of value. Our BFFs and BFF4Ls are the people worth logging in several times a day for. They chat with us, write on our walls, send us private messages and may hang out on many other sites with us. They give us their honest advice and we take it, knowing we’re both looking out for each other’s best interest.

Dating: Neither party is totally committed but are both attracted to each other. You’re learning more each day, but at your own pace. A long term decision has not been made at this point. They ask their friends if they think you’re cool, and if their friends don’t approve, you might be taken out of the picture. At best, you won’t be talked about in their friend circles.

In an Open Relationship: You have committed fans but you know that they are seeing other brands. You’re ok with it, because you know that realistically, people engage with a variety of products and services in their day and monogamy is challenging at best. They may fan your competitor’s page but still have more fun hanging out with you more than other brands. Don’t get upset if they talk about another brand on your wall, or you might lose them completely. Jealousy is never attractive.

Engaged: The honeymoon’s just started. Your fans love you and you love them. There’s a lot of positive feedback and sharing, they’re introducing you to their friends and family and they’re considering you in major life decisions. They’re creating albums with you to document your life together and they trust that you’re the one they’ll always want to turn to for advice, understanding and support.

Married: You’re in it together for the long haul, and all of your friends and family know it. Your fans might occasionally be tight on money, you might slip up, but in the end, for better or worse, there is a deep bond that keeps you together. You use your wall space and direct messages to work out any grievances, consider each other’s side, perhaps even change your ways if something’s not working and there’s a 50/50 share of give and take in the relationship. You even develop new products and services with them that capture your best thinking and assets. Sometimes this means loyalty beyond reason but, in a country where more than 50 percent of marriages end in divorce, it doesn’t mean you can let yourself go.

What kind of a relationship are you in with your brand’s fans online and what steps are you taking to move the relationship to the next level?